No Apologies, An Essay In Two Parts

I'm not mad about life anymore
I'm mad about death
and mad about the longing
and the feeling that you're left with

I truly understand life
but why does that mean I have to understand loss?
Why in this world do we have to feed grief?
When you live your life
You strive for a sense completion
And along a sense of closure
You make your mistakes
But be sure to know that there are no apologies...

-

All the memories are good
when they are brought up or evoked
All the memories are as clear as they should
through a viel of dark and smoke

All we lived and all we shared
and all the uncanny moments
are subconsciently prepared
for a dash of quick events

And as you prepare to face it
As you begin to accept your guilt
You notice that these are not mistakes
These are elements of life

-

Complex? Or rather indulging?